Canbera, Australia – In what is being hailed as a common sense approach to solving Australia’s rampant litter problem, government officials have announced the launch of Operation Roo. The project, which carries an estimated price tag of 1.5 million dollars, calls for the enlistment of more than 50,000 wild kangaroos to collect litter along the nation’s roadways. The project is the brain child of Mona Poomy of Perth, who will spearhead the project.
“I’m really excited by the opportunity to bring my concept to life,” said Poomy. “I’ve managed projects all over the world, but this is the first time I’ve ever worked with marsupials. This is going to look great on my resume! In fact, prospective employers may even forget all about my trip to Florence,” beamed Poomy.
According to Poomy, the program will cost Australians little to implement. “There is no actual training program to finance,” said Poomy, “and we won’t spend ten cents for vacation pay or maternity leave.”
Poomy claims she first conceived the idea of an all kangaroo litter patrol while on a recent visit to the Outback. She later clarified that she was referring to the world-famous restaurant chain, not Australia’s remote interior region.
“I just thought to myself, ‘what a waste of talent,’ said Poomy. “Kangaroos are natural-born litter collectors.” Government spokesperson Daryle Rico of the Department of Transport, echoed Poomy’s statement, adding that besides working for free, the kangaroos don’t even require trash bags. “That alone will save thousands of dollars,” claimed Rico.
Critics of the program call the campaign a national embarrassment. “I can’t believe we are treating our national icon with such disrespect,” said an outraged Hugh Jackman. “If they were recruiting koala bears to collect trash along our nation’s roads, you could bet Australians would be flinging their boomerangs in protest!”
“I seriously doubt we could hire koala bears to do the job,” countered Rico. “Most of them are under contract with Quantas Airlines.”