Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – When local hottie Mona Poomy reached the finals of the Miss Malaysia beauty pageant, she thought she had it won. “I was practically counting my roses,” admitted Poomy, after the event.
Poomy, whose shocking camouflage bikini in the swimsuit competition catapulted her to the final round of five contestants, was counting on the talent portion of the show to put her over the top.
In previous years, Miss Malaysia contestants have sang, danced and even somersaulted their way to the title, but Poomy decided to surprise the crowd with her famous water buffalo act. “Our performance is not all that difficult,” said Poomy. “In fact, the hardest part of our routine is getting him to ride the elevator on the way to the stage.”
According to her fans and neighbors, many of whom braved the arduous 125 mile trek from her hometown of Ipok, Perak to watch her perform, Poomy and her water buffalo present a dramatic contrast in size and shape when on stage. Poomy, who weighs barely 100 pounds soaking wet is dwarfed by her pet who tips the scales at over 1,200 pounds. “I don’t know why he’s such a fat ass,” complained Poomy, “I’ve had him on a vegetarian diet all his life.”
Says Poomy, she and her pet have been entertaining neighborhood families for years, earning wild ovations with her impressive feats of balance and coordination. “When I was a little girl, I would juggle mangoes while tap-dancing on his back,” bragged Poomy. “Even then I knew how to wow a crowd!”
Alas, Poomy’s dreams of fame and fortune were not meant to be. For as the crowd welcomed her and her pet with a thunderous round of applause, her water buffalo panicked and stampeded into the audience, bringing the pageant to an abrupt end.
“Well, ” sighed a disappointed Poomy, “he always knew how to bring a crowd to its feet.”