North Las Vegas, NV – Local sorceress Teresita Rapier is about to call it quits from the witch business. According to anonymous sources, the self-proclaimed Enchantress is unable to conjure up so much as a shriek from the kids in her neighborhood.”When a witch can no longer scare small children, it’s time to hang up the broomstick,” sighed Rapier.
Rapier says her evil spells no longer have the same black magic they once did. “I’ve tried adopting some Filipino gang signs to make myself look a little scarier, but nothing seems to work. It’s almost as though someone has put a hex on me.”
Others say it’s not just Rapier’s pathetic witchcraft that is to blame. According to neighbor Daryle Rico, “It’s really hard to look scary when you walk around with a candy corn hat on your head.”
Nevertheless, Rapier says she’s not quite ready to throw in the towel just yet, and claims to have a few more tricks up her sleeve. “I’ve been handling a lot of frogs lately, hoping to grow a few warts on my nose. “If that doesn’t work, nothing will.”
Rapier hopes to have her act together by next Halloween.