Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Archive for the tag “salsa”

Hottie chooses “Sugar Pants” as new pet name; “Honey Britches” finishes distant third

Clackamas, OR – If there is one thing that local resident Kristi Lemos has enjoyed over the years it’s her fair share of pet names. The comely salsera claims to go by no fewer than five nicknames at any one time, but in an effort to reduce confusion within her social dancing circle, Lemos decided it might be best to go with just one. “It gets a little crazy with everyone calling you something different,” says Lemos. “Throw in a few Mexican accents and it’s just plain loco.”

Lemos says she has been using pet names most of her life. “I went all through grade school being called Kristi Kreme donut,” says Lemos. Most pet names in the past have been terms of endearment or words to describe her striking pair of physical attributes. “Well, I suppose that’s true,” blushed Lemos, “not a day goes by that I don’t hear about my dimples.”

Kristi "Sugar Pants" Lemos

Kristi “Sugar Pants” Lemos

To make things interesting, Lemos held an online competition for her naming rights, a move which attracted entries from all four corners of Clackamas County. “I can’t tell you all the entries I received,” said Lemos, “after all, the county is a bit red neck.”

More than 500 entries were received, which Lemos quickly narrowed down to three finalists. An online poll determined the winner. “Sugar Pants” garnered 47% of the vote, followed close behind by “CinneBuns“. “Honey Britches” brought up the rear.

Lemos claims she loves her new pet name and is even considering vanity plates for the family car. Says Lemos, “I like SUGAR PANTS  a whole lot better than GBT 417.”


Local dancers banned from Salsa Championships following allegations of steroid use

Sergio Villalobos and his partner dance their way into the semi-finals of the 2012 World Salsa Championships.

Seattle, WA – Local Costa Rican national Sergio Villalobos and his partner were placed on a lifetime ban by the World Salsa Federation today after both tested positive for steroids during a random drug test. The ban was effective immediately and will bar Villalobos from defending his title at the World Salsa Congress in Miami, Florida later this year.

According to insiders, Federation officials first became suspicious of Villalobos after a surprising third place finish in the amateur division at the River City Salsa Festival last May.  In addition, both Villalobos and his partner exhibited telltale signs of steroid use. “He had put on about 50 pounds since he last performed,” said Daryle Rico, “and both of them were sporting an excess of orange body hair.”

Villalobos denied the allegations and blamed the drug test results of a flawed procedure. “I was so nervous and shaky during the test that I could barely pee into the cup,” claimed Villalobos. “Look, my hands are still soaked!”

According to George Caceres of the River City Salsa Festival, steroid use is considered rare in the salsa community. “You might see a dancer sipping on a Red Bull for a little extra energy,” said Caceres, “but full-blown steroid use is unheard of. If you ask me, Villalobos just enjoys taking injections in the butt.”

Villalobos, says he will fight the lifetime suspension. In the meanwhile, both he and his partner will continue to rehearse, pending a final ruling. “Regardless of what anyone may think about the two of us taking steroids,” said Villalobos, “you have to admit we are an awfully cute couple.”

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