Multnomah Village, OR – When blonde hottie Trissa Gifford finally agreed to meet Costa Rican national Sergio Villalobos for lunch a few weeks ago, she had no idea what a life changing event it would be for the smarmy illegal alien.
“It was no big deal to me,” admitted Gifford. “I’ve had lunch with less attractive men – not that any come to mind,” she quickly added. But for Villalobos, their impromptu date was nothing short of a life preserver, rescuing him from a future of drunken laziness.
“She brings out the best in me,” gushed a smitten Villalobos. “Having Trissa in my life makes me want to be a better person.”
“That’s not saying much,” claimed Daryle Rico, a longtime acquaintance of both parties. “Knowing Sergio as I do, any change in his character was bound to be an improvement.”
Villalobos claims his life has been completely transformed since meeting Trissa. “I’m no longer drinking wine all day and dancing till the wee hours of the morning” he says.
“I noticed that his car is parked in front of his house more often these days,” says his neighbor Angie Dav. “But I just assumed it was because he was under house arrest.”
Villalobos says he is now a whole new person and has been working hard to improve his English. “Until I met Trissa, the only English I could read was a Happy Hour menu,” bragged Villalobos. “Now I am reading the classics: Black Beauty and Nancy Drew.”
Villalobos acknowledges that he is at least 40 year older than his new sweetheart, but not embarrassed by the status of their Spring-Winter relationship. “Trissa calls me her Prince Charming,” beamed Villalobos.
“Something was obviously lost in translation,” claims Gifford, rolling her pretty blue eyes. “What I actually said was ‘a girl has kiss a few toads before meeting her handsome prince.'”