Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Distracted Latina inadvertently re-friends stalker

Eloina Cortes reacts with horror upon realizing she just accepted a friend request from her former stalker.

Eloina Cortes reacts with horror upon realizing she just accepted a friend request from her former stalker.

Kaiser, OR – Eloina Cortes, a local Facebook user, reacted with horror today when she realized she had inadvertently re-friended a former stalker. “Aish,” exclaimed Cortes, “it took me six months to get rid of him, and now ‘presto’, he’s back in my life!”

Her stalker’s late night phone calls and incessant text messaging lead to his being de-friended last March. But according to Cortes, the final straw was his annoying FarmVille updates. “I was receiving dozens of them every day,” claimed Cortes. “Just look at me,” she asked, posing in a new bridesmaid’s dress, “do I look like a farmer? The closest I have come to being near a pig was my last lunch date with Alberto Flores!”

Cortes, who declined to mention her stalker by name for fear of inflating his king-sized ego, blamed the accident on her innate ability to multi-task. “I was cooking frijoles and updating my Facebook status at the same time,” explained Cortes. That’s what I get for trying to use my smart phone as a cooking utensil.”

Cortes, claims that she receives approximately 200 friend requests a week. “Some are friends of friends,” she says. “But most are Mexican nationals looking for a girl with a green card.”

Cortes is as yet undecided whether or not she will de-friend her stalker right away. “I might give him another chance,” she said. “Besides, my alarm clock is broken, so I may need his 5 AM text messages to get me out of bed in time for work.”

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One thought on “Distracted Latina inadvertently re-friends stalker

  1. I nominated you for the Liebster Award! Please check out my post for the details: http://ajgoode.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/liebster-award/

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