Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Sexy Latina told once again to “go put some clothes on”

Tualatin, OR – For the umpteenth time this week, neighbors of Tualatin resident Linda Maldonado have asked the sexy señorita to go put some clothes on. Maldonado, neighbors claim, is in the habit of parading about her condominium community in all manners of undress.

Linda Maldonado

According to next door neighbor Daryle Rico, there is just no telling what Maldonado will show up wearing – or not wearing – next. “My rent has tripled since I first moved here,” said Rico reaching for his binoculars. “But there is just no way I would ever move.”


Maldonado’s sexy attire has claimed two lives since January.

Other neighbors are less enthusiastic about the young woman’s questionable attire. “We have a lot of older men in the neighborhood,” said Evelyn Hunt, president of the community’s homeowners association. “She’s sent three seniors into cardiac arrest just this month, and it’s only mid-April.”

Maldonado relaxes at her condo's laundry facility while waiting for her undies to dry.

Maldonado relaxes at her condo’s laundry facility while waiting for her undies to dry.

Maldonado’s boyfriend, Israel Guerrero, refused to take sides on the issue. “Personally, I like the way Linda dresses,” said Guerrero, “but I’ll admit it is a bit tiring to have to step over old men in the parking lot just to get to the condo.”

The homeowners association admits they have no legal authority to force Maldonado to alter her attire. At the same time, they express concerns for community safety in the months ahead.

“Good grief,” said Hunt “if this is how she dresses when it’s 40 degrees outside, I hate to think of what we’ll be seeing once the weather warms up.”



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2 thoughts on “Sexy Latina told once again to “go put some clothes on”

  1. I have the same problem at my apartment, except that it’s “obese white trash,” instead of a “sexy Latina.”

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