Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Health survey reveals one out of seven dwarfs is not Happy

Orlando, FL – A new report released by the New England Journal of Mental Health reveals a rising incidence of depression among dwarfs. While it is estimated that approximately 10% of Americans in general suffer from sort of depressive disorder at a given time, the rate of depression among dwarfs is nearly 5% higher.

Seven-Dwarfs-478x256Psychologists are short on explanations.

“We are really at a loss to understand this,” said Daryle Rico, Ph D. in charge of the study. “Clearly, dwarfs need to be studied at greater length.”

Although known for their outwardly pleasant dispositions, the study showed that dwarfs actually rate higher than average for the following symptoms of depression:

  • sleeplessness
  • feeling tired and run-down
  • weight gain
  • high levels of stress and anxiety
  • restlessness, fatigue and lack of motivation
Fifteen percent of those studied reported being irritable or grumpy.

Fifteen percent of dwarfs studied admitted being Grumpy.

The report on dwarf depression came as no big surprise at Walt Disney World. “I knew all that “heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to work we go'” was just a load of crap, said Snow White, an employee at the park. “No one can be in that good a mood.”

Psychologists admit that the study group was not a large one. “We’re only talking about seven dwarfs,” said Rico. That’s a pretty small group.”

Rico indicated that further study is needed to better understand dwarf depression. “Dwarfs have been overlooked far too long,” said Rico.

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