2-year old charged with stealing satellite tv signals
Gresham, OR – Officials from the Federal Communication Commission raided a Southeast Portland home today amid reports that it was the headquarters of a giant satellite tv piracy ring. Charged in the raid was 2-year old Madden Ho, who authorities believe was the mastermind of the operation.
According to an FCC spokesperson, the investigation leading up to the arrest was one of the largest of its kind.
“We’ve been tracking all sorts of satellite tv signals arriving at this address for some time now,” said Daryle Rico. “Most of the show are Vietnamese rip-off of popular American shows including “Dancing With The Stars“. According to Rico, the toddler racked up nearly $50,000 in services in just over six weeks from DirecTV, Dish Network and other providers.
“That’s a lot of Big Bird” going to just one house,” said Rico.
Madden’s mother, Kieu Ho, said the theft of services was simply an accident and a result of a visit to the vet. “Ever since we brought Kobi home from the vet wearing a Cone of Shame, we’ve had more premium channels than we know what to do with,” said Kieu. “We didn’t realize our good fortune until we noticed Madden glued to the Cong Thanh Show.
Madden was taken to Clackamas County Jail where he was booked and released, pending a change of diaper.
Kobi, the family beagle was not charged.