Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Child’s fascination with stick horses no longer considered cute

Smith, shown here at a local golf course, gallops to the next hole.

Portland, OR – There isn’t a single American boy who hasn’t fancied himself a cowboy at one time or another, and pranced around his backyard on an imaginary stick horse. And for most boys, it’s a fantasy left behind by age 5 or 6.

But Richard Smith, who is fast approaching his 40’s, has had a harder time growing up. Smith – who prefers the alias Robert Jones – has been riding stick horses for as long as he can remember.

“Mops, brooms, feather dusters, garden tools – you name it,” confesses Richard. “I’ve ridden them all.”

According to his co-workers, Smith has no qualms about riding his imaginary horses around the office either. “Not a day goes by that you don’t see him prancing up and down the hall on a cardboard mailing tube,” claims Antoinette Awuakye. “The UPS driver can’t keep ’em in stock!”

Smith says he has been riding stick horses most all his life.

Smith’s current pony of preference is his Ping G20 driver. “I can’t hit a golf ball worth a crap with it,” says Smith, “but once I slip that baby between my legs, I can outrun any golf cart on the course!”

Psychologist Daryle Rico says Smith’s fascination for stick horses is not uncommon in men. “It stems from the need to feel something long between their legs,” explains Rico. “Personally, I can’t imagine anything so horrible.”

While experts say the ability to pretend is in early child development, it is probably time for Smith to put his cowboy days behind him. “I swear to God, if he lassos me one more time I’m going to break his neck,” says Awuakye.


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