Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Nationwide taste test concludes today’s breakfast cereals taste like crap

Despite their eye-pleasing colors and fancy shapes, most of today’s ready-to-eat cereals taste like crap

Battleground, MI – A national taste test recently conducted by the consumer watchdog group GRIPE has concluded that today’s sugary breakfast cereals are not all that good for children.

“There is just no way to sugar-coat it,” said group spokesman Daryle Rico. “Most of today’s ready-to-eat breakfast cereals taste like crap!”

While researchers would not reveal any of specific cereals tested, they reportedly included many of nation’s top brands.

Spokesmen for the major kids’ cereals took the news hard. “I guess Frosted Flakes aren’t so grrrrrreat after all,” said a dejected Tony the Tiger.

With their high sugar content, today’s breakfast cereals are turning America’s young into fat asses.

The report went on to say that in addition to lacking taste, many of the cereals also lacked any nutritional value. “There’s more fiber in the packaging,” said Rico, which is kind of ironic, considering the fact that the cereal inside the box tastes like cardboard.”

The report claims that a one-cup serving of some cereals contain more sugar than a Hostess Twinkie. “This is why so many of today’s kids are growing up to be such lard asses,” said Rico.


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