Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Family dog helps illegal alien train for grueling swim home

Vasco, Anotnio’s personal swimming coach, teaches his master the finer points of the dog paddle.

Portland, OR – When Antonio Torres was informed by immigration officials that his green card had been revoked, he knew he had a rough road ahead of him. Or, to be more accurate, a tough swim. That’s because Torres, until recently, did not know the first thing about treading water.

Though a gifted salsero and amateur prize-fighter, Torres was in over his head in a swimming pool.

“I was a fish out of water in the water,” explained Torres. “I entered this country by automobile over the Rio Grande – not through it.”

So rather than suffering the indignity of deportation and riding the dreaded green bus back to Mexico, Torres chose to swim across the U.S. – Mexican border instead. That called for some quick lessons from a loyal friend.

After a long day of training, Vasco sleeps off a six-pack of Corona on his master’s bed.

“I’ve learned most of my technique from my dog, Vasco,” said Torres. “My dog paddle is just about perfect but I still need to work on my breast stroke.”

According to Jennifer Ford, his main squeeze and performance partner, “Vasco has taught Antonio everything he knows about swimming. In fact, Antonio even shakes  himself dry before entering the house.”

Torres predicts it should take him the better part of the day to make the one-hundred yard swim across the Rio Grande, depending on the current and how long his water wings hold out. “At least the rush hour traffic should be going the opposite direction,” he added.


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2 thoughts on “Family dog helps illegal alien train for grueling swim home

  1. I love your posts Rico. 🙂


  2. Bahahahaaaa

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