PETA takes hit from diminutive mole whacker
Beaverton, Oregon – PETA, the national animal rights group, was dealt a major blow this week when a homemade video posted on Facebook suddenly went viral. The video in question showed a one year old boy madly walloping moles at the local Chuck E. Cheese restaurant during a recent family outing. By last count the video had received over 25,000 LIKES on Facebook, the popular social marketing website, making it one of the most popular videos posted to the Internet this year, second only to the royal wedding.
“Animal rights just took a giant step backward,” said PETA spokesman Daryle Rico. “It just makes our job that much harder when people are able to see how fun it is to club a defenseless animal.”
The video shows the child delivering more than 30 blows in a 60 second time frame, three of which were delivered with his bare fist. According to restaurant manager, Linda Ho, the child’s striking skills were highly efficient. “I’ve never witnessed such effective striking from such a small child,” said Ho. “He has either witnessed a lot of domestic violence in his life, or he simply does not like moles.”
The child’s parents, who wished to remain anonymous, were nonetheless proud of their child’s efforts. “He really showed those moles who was boss,” said his mother. “I can hardly wait until the Jehovah’s Witnesses come knocking on our door!”