Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Local hottie helps Costa Rican immigrant rebound from life of drunken debauchery

Trissa Gifford claims she has dated Sergio Villalobos only twice: once and for all.

Multnomah Village, OR – When blonde hottie Trissa Gifford finally agreed to meet Costa Rican national Sergio Villalobos for lunch a few weeks ago, she had no idea what a life changing event it would be for the smarmy illegal alien.

“It was no big deal to me,” admitted Gifford. “I’ve had lunch with less attractive men – not that any come to mind,” she quickly added. But for Villalobos, their impromptu date was nothing short of a life preserver, rescuing him from a future of drunken laziness.

Although their date lasted only 17 minutes, Villalobos claims he now spends all day thinking of his new sweetheart.

“She brings out the best in me,” gushed a smitten Villalobos.  “Having Trissa in my life makes me want to be a better person.”

“That’s not saying much,” claimed Daryle Rico, a longtime acquaintance of both parties. “Knowing Sergio as I do, any change in his character was bound to be an improvement.”

Before meeting Gifford, Villalobos was known to frequent local salsa clubs till the wee hours of the morning.

Once the town drunk, Villalobos now claims that alcohol never touches his lips.

Villalobos claims his life has been completely transformed since meeting Trissa. “I’m no longer drinking wine all day and dancing till the wee hours of the morning” he says.

“I noticed that his car is parked in front of his house more often these days,” says his neighbor Angie Dav. “But I just assumed it was because he was under house arrest.”

Villalobos says he is now a whole new person and has been working hard to improve his English. “Until I met Trissa, the only English I could read was a Happy Hour menu,” bragged Villalobos. “Now I am reading the classics: Black Beauty and Nancy Drew.”

Villalobos acknowledges that he is at least 40 year older than his new sweetheart, but not embarrassed by the status of their Spring-Winter relationship. “Trissa calls me her Prince Charming,” beamed Villalobos.

Once a popular street musician, Villalobos now claims to have his own company.

“Something was obviously lost in translation,” claims Gifford, rolling her pretty blue eyes. “What I actually said was ‘a girl has kiss a few toads before meeting her handsome prince.'”


Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: