Feral Mexican children captured near state capitol
Salem, OR – Responding to several reports of feral children roaming the streets of Salem, Children’s Protective Services announced today the capture of three young Mexican girls near the state capitol. According to authorities, the girls’ capture had been the focus of a six month campaign that began with reports of designer lingerie disappearing from neighborhood clothes lines in the Keizer area.
“We tried everything we could think of to set traps for them,” said CPS spokesman Daryle Rico, “but they were a lot smarter than we thought.” Authorities had allegedly tried everything from earrings to designer shoes to lure the girls to their capture but it was eventually ice cream bars that succeeded. “I would have bet a month’s salary that baiting our trap with samples from the Rogue Brewery would have done the trick,” said Rico, but apparently the girls didn’t know how to work a bottle opener.”
The girls, who spoke no English, appeared to be in surprisingly good health and showed no visible signs of abuse. Authorities would not speculate as to how long the girls had been living in the wild or exactly where they had been making their home.
The girls’ capture marked the first time in modern history that feral children have been rescued from the wild and the first such occurrence in Oregon.