Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Local woman killed returning from shopping spree

Gresham, OR –  A long awaited Toiletries Sale ended in tragedy today when a local woman was struck by a car while returning to her home. A local passerby quickly identified the woman as Khiem Troung. “I’d recognize those hairy legs of hers anywhere,” claimed her neighbor Amanda Boehm.

Troung, age 23, was returning home from her neighborhood Target store where she had just purchased 50 disposable razors for $3.50. A mail-in rebate for an additional $1.00 was also found near the body.

Accident investigators collected over 50 disposable razors from the scene as well as a manufacturer’s rebate worth $1.00.

EMTs who were called to the scene reported a horrific sight. “It broke my heart,” admitted EMT Daryle Rico, fighting back tears. “To see a brand new Prius with that kind of front end damage was pretty dang sad.”

Investigators speculate that the Prius was moving quietly along SE Sunnyside Road under battery power when it struck the unsuspecting Troung, throwing her into a nearby ditch. Investigators speculate that Troung was in such a hurry to return home and remove her unwanted body hair that she failed to notice the approaching vehicle. The force of the collision was apparently so great, that razors were scattered in all directions, tying up traffic along the busy thoroughfare for over an hour.

Memorial services are scheduled for Wednesday, June 20. The family requests no flowers and that donations be made in Troung’s name to the Oregon School of Electrolysis.

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