Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Professional couch potato calls it quits

Brittney Alexa Vega started her sofa modeling career at the tender age of 4 when she was barely larger than an ottoman.

Houston, TX – Saying “Enough is enough,” Houston hottie Brittney Alexa Vega announced her retirement today, ending a 14 year career as a sofa model. The announcement came as a surprise to most major sofa manufacturers. “The girl still had a few good years left in her,” said industry expert Daryle Rico. “But I guess she wanted to go out on top.”

“I’ve had a good run,” admitted Vega, “but it’s time to get off my butt and get a real job.”

Vega’s considerable beauty crossed all cultural boundaries and made her the most sought after sofa model on both sides of the border.

Vega who began modeling at age 4 is perhaps best known for her work with leather sofas. “I just like the way they squeak when I roll around on them,” said Vega. “I’m probably going to miss that the most.” She went on to say “I just love the smell of a leather couch. It’s like walking through a cow pasture without having to watch where you step.”

Vega takes a break from an exhausting session of modeling on the couch by sleeping on the couch.

When asked if she had any regrets about retiring at such a young age, Vega replied, “I wish I could have modeled some Amish sofas. Their clothing is pretty boring, but I hear they make great furniture.”

At the height of her career, Vega was the world’s premier sofa model and even had her own personal assistant to carry her to and from her photo shoots.

Vega’s illustrious career includes modeling assignments with all the major sofa brands including Lane, Ashley and Ethan Allen. When asked her greatest career accomplishment, Vega replied, “I’m proud that I never lowered myself to modeling for IKEA. Nothing against the Danish, but I’ve never trusted anything that was assembled with an allen wrench.”

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