Rico's Ramblings

My answer to the question: what do you do all day?

Woman’s obsession with Hello Kitty enrages homeowner’s association

Estacada, OR – When Khiem Troung first started collecting Hello Kitty merchandise a little over 3 years ago, she thought she was merely doing what most Asian girls like to do: purchasing worthless crap. Her collection started innocently enough: a throw pillow here, a hair clip there. But her hobby has since escalated into a spending habit that has enraged her neighbors and even threatened her relationship with her longterm girlfriend, Tan Dlr.

Neighbor’s call Troung’s Hello Kitty house the biggest eyesore in Multnomah County.

“Khiem has her crap all over the house,” complained Dlr. “I thought it was kind of cute at first, but now she has me peeing on a Hello Kitty toilet seat! I’ll be damned if I’m going to wipe my ass with her toilet paper though!”

Troung’s penchant for Hello KItty merchandise has become an obsession. Her collection has filled every room of her home and spilled onto her driveway. Case in point: the cherry red Hello Kitty Ferrari parked in front of her house. “It would have cost me a fortune at a dealership,” bragged Troung, “but I found it on eBay for 40 bucks under Blue Book.”

The latest addition to Troung’s collection is this $50 Hello Kitty toilet seat.

The piece de resistance, however, is the pink two-story Hello Kitty castle that Troung had specially built. Troung’s neighbors call it an eyesore. “It’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” claims Daryle Rico. “Truth be told, if it wasn’t for her recent boob job, I’d probably sign a petition to have her kicked out of the neighborhood.”

Others are even more irate. “I’ve never seen so much pink and purple [expletive deleted] in my life,” complained next door neighbor Amanda Boehm. “It’s as if a family of Smurfs ate cotton candy for a month and crapped all over her front lawn.”

Troung’s girlfriend is adamant in stating that her fancy toilet paper isn’t going anywhere near her ass.

As near as Troung can estimate, her obsession has cost her just over $2,000,000, not including the fines she has incurred by violating the terms of her homeowner’s association agreement.  “I’ll admit it’s a lot of money,” says Troung. “But as long as the checks from the blood bank keep coming in, I’ll be fine.”

Troung’s neighbors have become so vocal in their complaints about her prized collection, that she has taken to guarding her property with a Hello Kitty AR-15 assault rifle.

When asked if there was anything Hello Kitty-related that she didn’t own, Troung’s eyes widened. “I’ve kind of got my heart set on a rice cooker,” she admitted.


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One thought on “Woman’s obsession with Hello Kitty enrages homeowner’s association

  1. Alyssa Breann on said:

    I don’t care what everybody else thinks about this! I love hello kitty and wish it was my house!!!

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