Tragic driving accident claims Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, too
Hundred Acre Wood, UK – A single car accident has claimed the lives of beloved children’s character Winnie the Pooh and his sidekick Tigger. The driver of the vehicle, whose name is being withheld because of his age, was uninjured.
While the exact cause of the accident remains under investigation, authorities speculate it was the result of driver fatigue. Several eye witnesses report seeing the vehicle’s driver slumped over the steering wheel moments before the crash. “The poor little bugger was out like a light,” claimed one witness. A second witness, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed the driver had been drinking. Authorities would neither deny nor confirm that a bottle of baby formula was retrieved at the crash site.
The accident has reignited public demand for tighter safety stndards for passenger vehicles and a call to prohibit toddlers from driving after 6 PM. “This is such a waste,” said Linda Ho, a life-long Pooh fan. “That kid should have been in his crib, not behind the wheel of a car.”
Though Pooh and Tigger are among the Wood’s most popular residents, reaction to their sudden demise was somewhat mixed. “Oh well,” said Eyeore.
Compounding the tragedy, funeral arrangements for Tigger were cancelled when it was reported that his body had been taxidermied and was on display at a local sports bar.