Salem residents report “raining Mexicans”
Salem, OR – The Department of Immigration, US Weather Bureau and National Guard were all on alert Easter Sunday as reports of “raining Mexicans” jammed government switchboards at the state capitol.
“I just looked up in the sky and, holy cow, there must have been a dozen of ’em,” exclaimed Salem resident John Peterson. “I knew it was Easter Sunday, but you would have thought it was Cinco de Mayo!”
Climatologists from the US Weather Bureau had no explanation for the strange phenomenon. “We’re not exactly sure what it was,” admitted Weather Bureau spokesman Daryle Rico. “But if they were really Mexicans, it must have had something to do with El Niño.”
Those who witnessed the event were at a loss to explain what they had seen. “They were larger than hailstones, that’s for sure,” declared Jack Cahill. “I was praying they wouldn’t hit my car. I’m pretty sure my insurance doesn’t cover that kind of thing.
Immigration authorities are investigating the incident. “With tightened border security, it’s been harder for illegals to make it into the country,” explained INS spokesman Ralph Edwards. “I’ve heard of swimming and tunneling across the border, but this is the first report we’ve had of illegals falling out of the sky.”
Eye witness reports stated that all the Mexicans were dressed in blue. According to National Guard Colonel James “Buck” Wilson, “It’s not any kind of uniform that we know about. If it is, it’s the worst camouflage I’ve ever seen. I mean, good grief, we could spot those bastards from two miles away.”
Local meteorologists claim there are no more Mexicans are in the immediate forecast. “We should have clear skies for the next ten days or so,” predicted Rico. “In fact, it should be perfect weather for sky diving.”